August 2012

Problems at bedtime

My wife always used to go to bed by 9.30 pm. The last few nights she has anounced that she wanted go to bed by 8.00 pm. The first time she did this, just before I turned off the television prior to coming to bed at 10.30 pm, I heard the shower running in the bathroom. My wife had been in bed, fallen asleep and then woken up and thought it was morning.

The last two nights she has gone to get ready for bed at 7.30 pm. Tonight I noticed it took her 45 minutes from when she got undressed to when she actually got into bed.

Problems with communication

As mentioned earlier my wife suffers  from PPA. When she wants to ask me something I need to be a mind reader because the first question usually sounds something like this : “did you notice whatsit when we were over by the thingy?”

August 23

The last few nights have been a bit trying. As mentioned earlier my wife goes to bed early. One of the consequences of that is she wakes up early, that is about 4.00am. She gets out of bed to go to the bathroom, but doesn’t put her bedside lamp on to light the way. Then she bumps into the end of the bed and wakes me up. And that is my nights sleep ended. When she returns to bed she wants to talk, and all I want to do is go back to sleep. Last night I left her bedside lamp on all night so that she would not wake me when she went to the bathroom. Lat night we had the pajama saga again. When I came to bed I found her wearing a woollen cardigan, and her clothing she had worn during the day under her pillow along with her pajamas.

Today and for the last few weeks my wife has been taken off my hands for 2 -3 hours one day a fortnight by a carer from our church pastoral care team. It gives me some free time and space to do things I need to do on my own. Cheryl is experienced in helping dementia sufferers, and is gently gaining my wife’s confidence and leading her to the point where my wife will accept that an Aged Care Assessment needs to be done. There is no doubt that my wife will need Aged Care at some time, and for my sanity, she will need to go into respite care sometimes so I can a have a break.

August 31

Not a good day today. My wife had to sign a form for a breast screening examination due next Thursday. I had completed the form for her and all she needed to do was sign on the dotted line in the space provided. She didn’t understand that the signature had go to in the space provided on the form, and she wanted to sign it anywhere but where it needed to go. It took about 30 minutes for her to realise what was required. Needless to say I was becoming more and more frustrated by her inability to understand. I know I shouldn’t get frustrated and upset by things like this, but I don’t know to react to situations like this that will not cause her any loss of self esteem. To me it is a simple request, sign here and it’s all done. Any readers any ideas on that one?

Earlier this week we had another pajama saga when she didn’t want to wear the particular pair of pajamas again. Then two nights ago when I came to bed I found her sleeping in the jeans she had worn all day. Tonight when she was getting ready for bed she was going to put on the spare pajamas out of the drawer when she already had some under her pillow.

About labtad

Born in Halifax, West Yorkshire, England. Migrated to Australia in 1968 and now live in an outer South eastern suburb of Melbourne. Married since 1966 to my wife who was diagnosed with dementia in 2011. I am an imperfect follower of the Christian faith who believes that most things in life happen for a reason or purpose. The last 12 years, since my wife showed the first signs of having memory problems, have gradually taught me patience, compassion and some understanding of the situations that arise when a person Is living with dementia.
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